Mr. T Facts

Complaining of back pain, Atlas once asked Mr. T to hold up the world for him. Mr. T agreed, on the condition that in exchange Atlas would wear Mr. T’s golden necklaces. After five minutes of excruciating pain, Atlas asked for the world back.

Statistically speaking, you’re more likely to be pitied by Mr. T, than you are to have feet.

Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, the R-Rating and Jay-Z after a late-night drunken bender caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was.

When Mr. T looks at a Magic-Eye illusion, the image changes into a crying child and it never changes back.

The film ‘The Green Mile’ is actually based on the life of Mr. T - the evidence is all there. A large black man is imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, he wears dungarees throughout the film, pities lots of people, and cures cancer. The names of those involved were just changed to help protect their identities, and cos otherwise the film would have been too awesome for us to watch.

Someone once asked Mr. T is he wanted a Hawaiian Punch. Mr. T raped him.

Mr. T’s penis played the role of the snake in “Anaconda.”

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80’s.

23. That’s the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T’s pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That’s why he can only kick through doors.

Mr. T is not black. It’s just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.

In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell’s jibba-jabba.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Mr. T’s incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn’t have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T’s.

Remember when Mr. T wasn’t so popular and awesome? Me neither.

They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don’t have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you’re dead no matter what.

It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.

Mr. T’s sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.

Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That’s 100 fools pitied a second.

Mr. T doesn’t have internal organs. He had them removed to make more room for muscle

The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T’s neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.