Pearly Gates

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offered.

“Once, upon a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.”

I yelled, “Now, back! off!! Or you’ll answer to me!”

St. Peter was impressed, but said: “We don’t show any record of this - when did all this happen?”

“Oh….Just a couple minutes ago.”