Jokes++

The Driving Exam

Filed under: Miscellaneous Jokes, Stupid Jokes

Driver’s Education Exam Answers

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Essex Girl Accident

Filed under: Doctor Jokes, Stupid Jokes

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped in the wreckage bleeding.

The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: “It’s OK I’m a paramedic - I’m going to ask you some questions, OK?”
Girl: “OK”
Medic: “What’s your name?”
Girl: “Sharon”
Medic: “OK Sharon, is this your car?”
Girl: “Yes.”
Medic: “Where are you bleeding from?”
Senga: “Romford.”